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Ahhhhhhh yes..... That age old question:  Now who the HELL is subterrain?  I mean, I know that means "underground", but who are the people behind the heavenly melodies?  and how did they come to be?  What is the meaning of life?  Do I have any mustard on my lip from that sandwich I ate?  Well, young bucky, most of these shall be answered in the following paragraphs.  Enjoy.....            Subterrain, when you boil it down to the absolute starting point, began when a young Blair Early picked up the drums.  He (I) was the starting point.  The first musician of the trio.  In 1999 he moved to Bloomfield Hills and next door to a wiley young australian named Nicolas Park.  It only took days before the two became the best of friends and hung out almost everyday of that summer.  Blair got Nic interested in picking up an instrument, and that christmas, the young wallaby-rider, got his first bass guitar and amplifier.  And thus, subterrain is born.  The two would have "Jam-sessions" and make up songs on the spur of the moment, which soon became their specialty.  The two did not however, have the name subterrain.  They went by the, then clever, parody "The Blair Nic Project."  Almost a year later, a smallish, dwarf looking fellow by the name of Ryan Blank learned the guitar and joined the Blair Nic Project, forming today's subterrain.  But with this new (first) guitarist, they would need a new name: Knuckin Futs.  From the depths of our asses, we produce "Knuckin Futs".  Wow.  I'm not quite sure about that one.  The trio started out in Blair's basement, as that was the most convenient at the time, because the drums were hard to move.  There had been a variety show advertised at the school of Nic and Ryan, (blair attended a private school-rich bastard) and the three had made it their goal to enter.  And enter they would....

....The three worked tirelessly on their line-up that they would play.  This was the first gig of the newly named knuckin futs, so they wanted to make it a good one.  All three shared a common interest in the band Korn (their influence on subterrain's music shows).  Thus, they mutually decided on a Korn medley with a short original song: a knuckin futs exclusive if you will.  Blind, Twist, Need to, and the knuckin futs hit "bubylaya".  Sheer genious if I do say so myself.  The three practiced the medley to perfection, while Nicolas, the bass player, would be doing the lyrics on the song "twist".  If anyone has heard that song, you know how hard it is to do it.  When the day came, the three got up there and prepped themselves for their very first show.  However, due to creative differences with the director/satan of the show we needed a new name:  Subterfuge.  Once again our asses provide us with absolute crap.  But it was a name.  When the announcer comes on, the three tense up and wait for their cue, and the curtains to open.  "And now, presenting the stylings of Johnathan Davis and Korn, here is Subterrain!"  "who?"  All three of us said shaping the word perfectly in our bewildered mouths.  "well, looks like we're subterrain now!"  Our band named had been butchered 3 times inside of 45 minutes.  Greeeeaaaat.  But, it sounded good so we went with it, and we killed.  We nailed it and were regarded as gods of rock from then forth.  Okay, all but the last part.              This was our first taste of the "biz."  If you can call it that.  You know, playing at school talent shows and such.  Okay, forget that last part.  It's kind of late, and I think I've got food poisoning; just bare with me.  Anycrap, the trio continued to practice, and made up some of their own tunes when it was announced, that they would be entering the annual Cranbrook battle o' the bands.  The three had entered late and had but a month to come up with 45 minutes of material, when the most they could put together was 8 1/2.  The three also had another problem: if Nic the bassist were to concentrate on his bass playing, they would need a singer.  Enter Chris Baclucas.  The first in a long line of singers for subterrain.  The newest member of the quartet also had a liking for korn, and thus the four decided that they would play mainly korn songs due to laziness/lack of creativity/no lyrics on the part of the lyricist.  Well, it would be a daunting task, learning 45 minutes of korn to fill a slot.  They worked non-stop on different songs, ranging from the abusive Good God, to their favorite, almost laughable A.D.I.D.A.S. (you can figure out what that means).  The night before the show, the four had one last practice in which they had played four songs that they have never played before, let alone with each other.  Somehow, they pulled it together....except for the singer, who had failed to realize the magnitude of the show they would be playing, and pretty much broke down.  He had none of the lyrics down, so it would probably end up being him running around on stage with Nic (god bless the queen) doing most of the singing.  The day of, all four had butterflies the size of kaiser rolls running around in their stomachs, but they were too far to turn back.  After school, the four and 2 unlikely roadies met at the crazy australian's house and loaded up the convoy.  These roadies were given the names Big Kid, and The Funky Fresh Midget.  Anyone who saw the battle of the bands are already very familiar with the latter "roadie".  As you could probably imagine, "big kid" did most/all of the work.  Why?  We are that lazy.  We then made the trek down to the kingswood gym to unload.  We were due to go on at about 7:30.  The current time was 4:00.  Okay, so we were a little eager to get set up and things, we were the opening act, it was our first performance against other bands, and we had a kid following us around named Funky Fresh.  We had a right to be nervous!               We set ourselves up on the small stage plugged in, and were ready to rock.  To an absolutely desolate gymnasium.  It was only 4:30.  We decided we would just screw around anyway, and did.  We played all the korn klassics and probably butchered them.  We needed food to calm the pains of anxiousness, so we headed to the dining hall in search of libations.  We filled up on cereal and pizza and then went back to the gym just in time to see the storm clouds move in.  Tornado watch in effect.  Just 45 minutes before we were set to start.  Greeeeaaattt.  They herded us into the basement like cattle so that we may wait out the "storm."  When we emerged, we had maybe a crowd of 20 and the watch still in effect.  We went on anyway.  We opened with a nice little number we call blind.  After which we launched in let's get this party started (which was butchered) and the classic A.D.I.D.A.S., which the crowd really got into. (they just really like fornication).  After our medley we sent out Funky Fresh to do a short rap, and that was the end of it.  Beautiful.               Overall, we did quite well for some midgets with instruments.  We came 3rd out of 4.  But we beat someone!  In fact, we beat the 25 year old ex-prisoners who had a manager and a contract.  Who's the midget now?  After that fiasko, we had one last performance at Ryan's and Nic's school, some kind of graduation party, which lead to myself and big kid being kicked out, and the police being called.  Once again...beautiful.               The following summer proved to be very malproductive and lazy.  Just the way subterrain likes it.  We talked about the CD (to be released august 1st) and jammed every once in awhile, and even picked up a new singer,but that was it.  The singer almost worked out, until we found that he couldn't sing.  That will put a damper on your day.  Subterrain almost fell apart due to creative difference between Nicolas and Ryan, but it was soon solved by ford motor company.  You see Mr. Park, Nicolas's father, had originally worked for Ford Australia, when he got transfered to America, Thus the wallaby rider that you see before you.  He was scheduled for 3 years, and going on his forth year, Ford yanked him back to Aus-of-rail.  Nic (god bless the queen again...wait, isn't she dead?) sadly left for his mother land on March 5th, 2002, leaving a band, 2 cats, and hopefully a little sister behind.  Thus, myself and Ryan Blank are left to fend for ourselves, but have seen the light at the end of the tunnel.               We have now found someone to record us and we now have our first single released!  Entitled:  "Cream Soder."  Shut up you anti subterrain hosers!  It's art.  Or something like it.  Okay, fine, it's not art, but we're not exactly Andy Warhol, so sue us!  Anycrap, we have also found a new singer (i hope) named Steve "duuuuhhhhhh" Najem, whom you will hear on our debut album, which is to be released sometime before 2010.  Thanks!